These days, you LOVE playing with your miniature people and Barbies. I can hear you in there right now, in your room after school, playing with them, making up dialogue, staging a play of sorts, entering into that Make Believe world that you create so well that I often have to call your name several times to get you to disengage...
But I love listening to you play. I love hearing how creative you are. You're already writing plays of sorts, already knowing who says what and when...You're brilliant. Really. And I'm proud of you.
You're only 4 years old, but it seems you have a wisdom beyond your years, a gift, a talent...You can create and replicate characters of all types--assign to them new abilities, jobs, because you don't have to mimic their presentation.
For example, sometimes, you can make your Veggie Tale characters into characters that they aren't. They become, rather, whatever you need them to become.
When I hear you play, I am inspired. It makes me want to sit and write. It's as if you spark a creative chord in my soul, and I feel like I can write again.
[And here I am, with keyboard in hand...]
When I hear you play, there are moments when I realize that you are using conversations that we have had during the day--you and me, me and dad, you and dad, you and sisters--and that's when it suddenly occurs to me that nothing much is getting past you--and that you are learning MANY, MANY things from us. Good AND Bad.
One day, I heard you in there with your characters, and one was saying to the other that he/she didn't want to go to church:
"I don't want to go to church!"
"You have to."
"But I don't WANT to go."
"It doesn't matter what you want. You're going!"
Those kinds of conversations in your play make me wonder if I'm explaining things enough, reasons, rationale. And I wonder if you're old enough for that. Is it time to expound upon my decisions, time to explain the WHYs and WHY NOTs?
[Sometimes, I really wish there were a manual for this parenting thing.]
When I hear you play, darling, ultimately it gives me great cause to THANK THE LORD for the opportunity to be your Mommy. I LOVE my life since you have entered it. You will NEVER know (until you have a child of your own one day) how much you delight me, inspire me.
I love you, always and forever,
Mommy
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Friday, January 11, 2013
"I Love You in My Heart": Your First Official Prayer Meeting
While it's true that you have grown up in and around the church, and that you've attended many prayer meetings in your first four years of life, this was the first time you talked to me about the prayer meeting itself and told me that you prayed--and what you prayed about.
We were in the sanctuary, and when some of the people sitting wanted to go down to the front to pray, you grabbed my hand and told me you wanted to go, too.
Your sisters asked if you wanted to stay seated with them and pray, but you told them you wanted to go pray with your Momma.
So we held hands and walked down to the front pew. I sat down and you knelt, and then you jumped up quickly to get me a tissue.
"Here you go, Momma," you said. I took it and smiled at you. You've been with me many, many times when I've been to the church to pray. You know that I'll probably need one of those.
You knelt down at the first pew, next to me, for a minute or two, and then you asked me if you could go sit with your sisters.
Later, as we were preparing to get things ready to go, I asked you if you prayed.
You said you had.
"What did you pray about?" I asked.
You whispered back at me, "I told Jesus, 'I love you in my heart.'"
---------------------------------------------------
I thought of all the prayers I had sent up during the one-hour prayer meeting, hoping that they were as well-received as I KNOW that one was. And I wondered if I had said as much during my prayers.
"Jesus, I love you in my heart, too." I think, typing this.
Psalm, you are a great blessing to me, darling, and a source of great joy in my life.
I am thankful to God for you, Elizabeth Psalm Yandell.
Love,
Mommy
We were in the sanctuary, and when some of the people sitting wanted to go down to the front to pray, you grabbed my hand and told me you wanted to go, too.
Your sisters asked if you wanted to stay seated with them and pray, but you told them you wanted to go pray with your Momma.
So we held hands and walked down to the front pew. I sat down and you knelt, and then you jumped up quickly to get me a tissue.
"Here you go, Momma," you said. I took it and smiled at you. You've been with me many, many times when I've been to the church to pray. You know that I'll probably need one of those.
You knelt down at the first pew, next to me, for a minute or two, and then you asked me if you could go sit with your sisters.
Later, as we were preparing to get things ready to go, I asked you if you prayed.
You said you had.
"What did you pray about?" I asked.
You whispered back at me, "I told Jesus, 'I love you in my heart.'"
---------------------------------------------------
I thought of all the prayers I had sent up during the one-hour prayer meeting, hoping that they were as well-received as I KNOW that one was. And I wondered if I had said as much during my prayers.
"Jesus, I love you in my heart, too." I think, typing this.
Psalm, you are a great blessing to me, darling, and a source of great joy in my life.
I am thankful to God for you, Elizabeth Psalm Yandell.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Little Miss Independent
I know you're growing up, I do. And I know that's the way it goes.
Your baby grows up.
But yesterday, I was met with that reality in a way I just wasn't prepared to accept.
For the first time EVER, you didn't bring your "night nights" to me to put on. When I heard you coming to the table, I turned, expecting to take the jammies you picked out from your closet and help you put them on. I mean, that's how we've done it now for years...
But when I turned around, you had your "night nights" on, and there were no mishaps. No shirt turned backwards, no pants inside out. Your head wasn't stuck in the armhole.
It looked perfect.
You'd done it yourself. With no help from me.
With no help from me...
I felt a pang of regret at that moment, combined with a certain pride that you are growing up, smart and sassy enough to pick out your own clothes and put them on for yourself....
But I couldn't help but think: She doesn't need me to put her "night nights" on anymore.
And, apparently, this is how it goes from here on out. You learn to do things for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and me and my role diminishes until you are out in the world, wholly free and responsible to live your life and make your own decisions.
I am reminded of how little time I have with you in "The Grand Scheme of Things," and it makes me want to hold you, more tightly, just like this, just how we are now, so I don't miss a single second, a single opportunity, of life like this.
I want you to know that I am very proud of you, so proud of the little person you are becoming.
I love you, Little Miss Independent.
Your baby grows up.
But yesterday, I was met with that reality in a way I just wasn't prepared to accept.
For the first time EVER, you didn't bring your "night nights" to me to put on. When I heard you coming to the table, I turned, expecting to take the jammies you picked out from your closet and help you put them on. I mean, that's how we've done it now for years...
But when I turned around, you had your "night nights" on, and there were no mishaps. No shirt turned backwards, no pants inside out. Your head wasn't stuck in the armhole.
It looked perfect.
You'd done it yourself. With no help from me.
With no help from me...
I felt a pang of regret at that moment, combined with a certain pride that you are growing up, smart and sassy enough to pick out your own clothes and put them on for yourself....
But I couldn't help but think: She doesn't need me to put her "night nights" on anymore.
And, apparently, this is how it goes from here on out. You learn to do things for yourself, make decisions for yourself, and me and my role diminishes until you are out in the world, wholly free and responsible to live your life and make your own decisions.
I am reminded of how little time I have with you in "The Grand Scheme of Things," and it makes me want to hold you, more tightly, just like this, just how we are now, so I don't miss a single second, a single opportunity, of life like this.
I want you to know that I am very proud of you, so proud of the little person you are becoming.
I love you, Little Miss Independent.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
What Daddy Wants to Tell You
Dear Psalm:
I was writing tonight, and Daddy reminded me of something that you do. He wants me to record it for you, so you will always remember.
You love to lead the prayers over our meals.
No matter where we are--here at home, at Nana and Poppa's, even out in the restaurants--you volunteer to lead the prayer over our food.
And you do such a great job!
You say, in an appropriate tone of voice and manner:
"God is Great,
God is Good,
Let us thank Him
For our Food.
In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen."
You bless us all, sis. And we pray that your heart be this sensitive to God all the days of your life!
We love you,
Mommy and Daddy.
P.S. You're four years old.
I was writing tonight, and Daddy reminded me of something that you do. He wants me to record it for you, so you will always remember.
You love to lead the prayers over our meals.
No matter where we are--here at home, at Nana and Poppa's, even out in the restaurants--you volunteer to lead the prayer over our food.
And you do such a great job!
You say, in an appropriate tone of voice and manner:
"God is Great,
God is Good,
Let us thank Him
For our Food.
In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen."
You bless us all, sis. And we pray that your heart be this sensitive to God all the days of your life!
We love you,
Mommy and Daddy.
P.S. You're four years old.
My Little Singer
Dear Psalm:
So, lately you've been singing non-stop and everywhere we go.
It makes me smile.
We were in Hobby Lobby this weekend--I was shopping for fabric--and you were singing Christmas carols one after another, in succession.
When you sing, it's like it's not for attention. You don't sing too loudly and you're not trying to be obnoxious. In fact, to me, it blends in with the background store music, because it's on tune and pleasing to the ear.
Several people took note of you in the store, smiling as they listened to your songs.
Another lady stopped and talked to me about the gift you have.
"She sings better than any little girl her age I've ever heard," one lady said. "Does she sing a lot?"
"All the time," I said. "She's around music constantly--at church, at home, everywhere we go."
And it's true. You have been around music your whole life. It's no wonder you love it, no wonder it's such a source of comfort for you already.
After we left the fabric department, I strolled around the rest of the store.
You started singing, "Jesus Loves Me," sweetly, almost hauntingly, slowly paced--as if it were "for somebody."
I let you sing, wondering if someone around us really "needed to hear it" at that moment, wondering if it was one of God's gifts just for me.
Either way, I am amazed by you, by your God-given gifts and talents.
I can already SEE some things He is doing in you.
And I am amazed and humbled. I am so very proud of you, my daughter.
Love,
Mommy
So, lately you've been singing non-stop and everywhere we go.
It makes me smile.
We were in Hobby Lobby this weekend--I was shopping for fabric--and you were singing Christmas carols one after another, in succession.
When you sing, it's like it's not for attention. You don't sing too loudly and you're not trying to be obnoxious. In fact, to me, it blends in with the background store music, because it's on tune and pleasing to the ear.
Several people took note of you in the store, smiling as they listened to your songs.
Another lady stopped and talked to me about the gift you have.
"She sings better than any little girl her age I've ever heard," one lady said. "Does she sing a lot?"
"All the time," I said. "She's around music constantly--at church, at home, everywhere we go."
And it's true. You have been around music your whole life. It's no wonder you love it, no wonder it's such a source of comfort for you already.
After we left the fabric department, I strolled around the rest of the store.
You started singing, "Jesus Loves Me," sweetly, almost hauntingly, slowly paced--as if it were "for somebody."
I let you sing, wondering if someone around us really "needed to hear it" at that moment, wondering if it was one of God's gifts just for me.
Either way, I am amazed by you, by your God-given gifts and talents.
I can already SEE some things He is doing in you.
And I am amazed and humbled. I am so very proud of you, my daughter.
Love,
Mommy
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Sometimes I Worry
Sometimes I worry...
I cannot help but think about my health, my age, my seemingly increasing lack of energy, and I worry that I am not up to par as a Mommy.
My heart wants to sing with you, dance with you, play with you, but my tired body--at the end of a day--is difficult to persuade.
I wish I had more energy, sissy. I wish I could be the playmate that I know you need on weekdays when your sisters are not with us.
Sometimes I worry about that.
I am so thankful that God brought your Daddy to me, and that he blessed us with you. You are a living, breathing answered prayer, did you know that? I owe so much to my heavenly Father. He has truly given me the most precious gift in you.
And I wish I could express that to you in a way you could understand right now. How much I truly adore you and love you. There are no words to describe what you mean to me. Sometimes I worry that I will never be able to express to you the depth of LOVE I have for you. All I have are these letters and a limited lexicon. And, truly, no word ever spoken by humankind can describe how much I love you. No way.
Sometimes I worry that I will not be there for you when you need me. On afternoons when I pick you up from school, and you march out of your building in a line of your classmates, I wonder at you, your day, wonder how things went for you, and I worry because I haven't been there with you for hours--did you need me?--and all I can do is pray that God will be with you, giving your favor and protection and guidance in my absence.
(I know He did, of course He did, but sometimes I worry.)
Darling girl, I love you, and though I sometimes worry that I won't always be here with you, for you, I can promise you that you will always be in my heart, my thoughts, my consciousness. And when our Lord takes me to see Him, I know He will take care of you--lead you and guide you--until that time when we are reunited. I trust Him completely.
I just want to be there for you always. I want to be there to hear your stories, laugh with you, cry with you, celebrate with you. I pray that our Lord gives me those opportunities for many, many years to come.
I trust in Him. He knows what's best.
Sometimes I worry, but I trust Him for your life. I know He will take care of you. I have prayed over your future, and all of the generations to come through you.
You are special, Dear One.
He has a plan for your life, and He will see it come to pass if you trust Him.
(I don't have to worry about that.)
-------------------------------------------------
I love you, darling. And now I must go get your chocolate milk in your sippy cup as I promised several minutes ago. Thus far, you have been patient, but I suspect you will come after me soon if I don't get this done! ha! You're delightful, you know that?!? You remind me so much of someone I know....Ah....Me!!! :D
I cannot help but think about my health, my age, my seemingly increasing lack of energy, and I worry that I am not up to par as a Mommy.
My heart wants to sing with you, dance with you, play with you, but my tired body--at the end of a day--is difficult to persuade.
I wish I had more energy, sissy. I wish I could be the playmate that I know you need on weekdays when your sisters are not with us.
Sometimes I worry about that.
I am so thankful that God brought your Daddy to me, and that he blessed us with you. You are a living, breathing answered prayer, did you know that? I owe so much to my heavenly Father. He has truly given me the most precious gift in you.
And I wish I could express that to you in a way you could understand right now. How much I truly adore you and love you. There are no words to describe what you mean to me. Sometimes I worry that I will never be able to express to you the depth of LOVE I have for you. All I have are these letters and a limited lexicon. And, truly, no word ever spoken by humankind can describe how much I love you. No way.
Sometimes I worry that I will not be there for you when you need me. On afternoons when I pick you up from school, and you march out of your building in a line of your classmates, I wonder at you, your day, wonder how things went for you, and I worry because I haven't been there with you for hours--did you need me?--and all I can do is pray that God will be with you, giving your favor and protection and guidance in my absence.
(I know He did, of course He did, but sometimes I worry.)
Darling girl, I love you, and though I sometimes worry that I won't always be here with you, for you, I can promise you that you will always be in my heart, my thoughts, my consciousness. And when our Lord takes me to see Him, I know He will take care of you--lead you and guide you--until that time when we are reunited. I trust Him completely.
I just want to be there for you always. I want to be there to hear your stories, laugh with you, cry with you, celebrate with you. I pray that our Lord gives me those opportunities for many, many years to come.
I trust in Him. He knows what's best.
Sometimes I worry, but I trust Him for your life. I know He will take care of you. I have prayed over your future, and all of the generations to come through you.
You are special, Dear One.
He has a plan for your life, and He will see it come to pass if you trust Him.
(I don't have to worry about that.)
-------------------------------------------------
I love you, darling. And now I must go get your chocolate milk in your sippy cup as I promised several minutes ago. Thus far, you have been patient, but I suspect you will come after me soon if I don't get this done! ha! You're delightful, you know that?!? You remind me so much of someone I know....Ah....Me!!! :D
Saturday, August 11, 2012
No Matter What They Tell You...
Dear Psalm,
Today, these days, I've been thinking about all of the things I need to tell you, feel impressed to tell you. Things that you may, one day in the future, desperately need to know.
Tonight, as I sit here typing with you and these things on my mind, I wanted to share some things with you.
"No Matter What They Tell You..."
...God is real, alive. He can hear you, know you. You can talk to Him just like a friend.
...the Bible is important. Learn as much of it as you can. Don't trust anyone's word for it. You must read it for yourself, know it for yourself. (They're going to try to "fix it" and "correct it" one day. If this happens, find the oldest copy you can to read.)
...there is no government on this planet--in the past, present, or future, that can give you true fulfillment, true happiness. But all of that is obtainable here on this earth through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
...the problem with any government is that it is run by people. Given enough time and money, human greed will take a toll on what, in the beginning, was promising or good about it.
...God loves people, all people. And it is not his will that anyone should perish, fall into a spiritual darkness, be lost, unhappy, unfree.
...you can do all things through Christ Jesus our Lord who gives us strength. Life can get overwhelming, taxing, even oppressive. Sometimes, if you're not careful, you'll get down in the dumps, anxious about everything. This is why you need to pray and stay in the Word of God. His Word will challenge you, inspire you, uplift you, encourage you to keep going.
...God is in control. He knows EXACTLY where you are, what you're going through. Never forget that, Sissy.
...I love you with ALL OF MY HEART. You have NO IDEA how much I love you.
No matter what anyone tells you, darling, you must TRUST GOD for every part of your life and life itself. Don't buy anything, follow anyone, go to school anywhere, or marry anyone, without seeking God's will about it first. These things are too important.
And there may come a day, when you're older, when you start to realize that every step--every single step--is ordered of our Lord, and you look for him and anticipate recognizing His plan wherever you go, whatever you do. In that day, you will realize that it's important to think about and pray about where you will go for drive through dinner, whether you need to even leave the house at all.
I have failed our Lord more times than I can count, Psalm. I wish I could tell you I haven't failed Him, but I have. But when you fail, sis, I want you to know that it's not over. Our Lord is a loving and forgiving God who will wrap His arms around you and pull you gently back to Him. Do your best to follow everything He says (in His word and through His spirit). Do your best not to mess up. But he is there for you if you do fail him.
1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness."
Mommy loves you, darling.
love mommy
Today, these days, I've been thinking about all of the things I need to tell you, feel impressed to tell you. Things that you may, one day in the future, desperately need to know.
Tonight, as I sit here typing with you and these things on my mind, I wanted to share some things with you.
"No Matter What They Tell You..."
...God is real, alive. He can hear you, know you. You can talk to Him just like a friend.
...the Bible is important. Learn as much of it as you can. Don't trust anyone's word for it. You must read it for yourself, know it for yourself. (They're going to try to "fix it" and "correct it" one day. If this happens, find the oldest copy you can to read.)
...there is no government on this planet--in the past, present, or future, that can give you true fulfillment, true happiness. But all of that is obtainable here on this earth through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
...the problem with any government is that it is run by people. Given enough time and money, human greed will take a toll on what, in the beginning, was promising or good about it.
...God loves people, all people. And it is not his will that anyone should perish, fall into a spiritual darkness, be lost, unhappy, unfree.
...you can do all things through Christ Jesus our Lord who gives us strength. Life can get overwhelming, taxing, even oppressive. Sometimes, if you're not careful, you'll get down in the dumps, anxious about everything. This is why you need to pray and stay in the Word of God. His Word will challenge you, inspire you, uplift you, encourage you to keep going.
...God is in control. He knows EXACTLY where you are, what you're going through. Never forget that, Sissy.
...I love you with ALL OF MY HEART. You have NO IDEA how much I love you.
No matter what anyone tells you, darling, you must TRUST GOD for every part of your life and life itself. Don't buy anything, follow anyone, go to school anywhere, or marry anyone, without seeking God's will about it first. These things are too important.
And there may come a day, when you're older, when you start to realize that every step--every single step--is ordered of our Lord, and you look for him and anticipate recognizing His plan wherever you go, whatever you do. In that day, you will realize that it's important to think about and pray about where you will go for drive through dinner, whether you need to even leave the house at all.
I have failed our Lord more times than I can count, Psalm. I wish I could tell you I haven't failed Him, but I have. But when you fail, sis, I want you to know that it's not over. Our Lord is a loving and forgiving God who will wrap His arms around you and pull you gently back to Him. Do your best to follow everything He says (in His word and through His spirit). Do your best not to mess up. But he is there for you if you do fail him.
1 John 1:9: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness."
Mommy loves you, darling.
love mommy
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