Sometimes I Worry

Sometimes I worry...

I cannot help but think about my health, my age, my seemingly increasing lack of energy, and I worry that I am not up to par as a Mommy.

My heart wants to sing with you, dance with you, play with you, but my tired body--at the end of a day--is difficult to persuade.

I wish I had more energy, sissy. I wish I could be the playmate that I know you need on weekdays when your sisters are not with us.

Sometimes I worry about that.

I am so thankful that God brought your Daddy to me, and that he blessed us with you. You are a living, breathing answered prayer, did you know that? I owe so much to my heavenly Father. He has truly given me the most precious gift in you.

And I wish I could express that to you in a way you could understand right now. How much I truly adore you and love you. There are no words to describe what you mean to me. Sometimes I worry that I will never be able to express to you the depth of LOVE I have for you. All I have are these letters and a limited lexicon. And, truly, no word ever spoken by humankind can describe how much I love you. No way.

Sometimes I worry that I will not be there for you when you need me. On afternoons when I pick you up from school, and you march out of your building in a line of your classmates, I wonder at you, your day, wonder how things went for you, and I worry because I haven't been there with you for hours--did you need me?--and all I can do is pray that God will be with you, giving your favor and protection and guidance in my absence.

(I know He did, of course He did, but sometimes I worry.)

Darling girl, I love you, and though I sometimes worry that I won't always be here with you, for you, I can promise you that you will always be in my heart, my thoughts, my consciousness. And when our Lord takes me to see Him, I know He will take care of you--lead you and guide you--until that time when we are reunited. I trust Him completely.

I just want to be there for you always. I want to be there to hear your stories, laugh with you, cry with you, celebrate with you. I pray that our Lord gives me those opportunities for many, many years to come.

I trust in Him. He knows what's best.

Sometimes I worry, but I trust Him for your life. I know He will take care of you. I have prayed over your future, and all of the generations to come through you.

You are special, Dear One.

He has a plan for your life, and He will see it come to pass if you trust Him.

(I don't have to worry about that.)

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I love you, darling. And now I must go get your chocolate milk in your sippy cup as I promised several minutes ago. Thus far, you have been patient, but I suspect you will come after me soon if I don't get this done! ha! You're delightful, you know that?!? You remind me so much of someone I know....Ah....Me!!! :D