Thirty-Seven Years

Darling Sister:

There is something that you need to know about me. One day, it may make a difference to you. Hear me out, please, and try to understand what I'm trying to say.

My mother had me, her first child, when she was 17 years old. Because of her young age, she got to see and experience many things in my life--she would only be 34 when I was 17, after all! It has been a real blessing to have my mother in my life, and even now, as I'm typing this, as I'm 40 and she has just turned 58, I have been SO VERY BLESSED to have her in my life, a daily part of my life!

I try to call her every morning on the way to work. I love talking to her! She is a great source of encouragement to me, an advisor and one of my closest friends. These days, at my age, she has become a dear spiritual mentor and friend of mine. (That happens sometimes, and I know that I have been richly blessed!) But much of this has been made possible because she is only 17 years older than I.

Certainly, there are certain disadvantages to starting a family early, but, looking back, I'm so thankful my mother did.

When I met your father, I had just turned 35 years old. I had never been married before that, never been pregnant. Your father was the first man to ask for my hand in marriage.

We met in November and he asked me to marry him in February. Of course, I accepted! We knew very early on that God had destined for us to be together...I believe it more now, nearly five years later, than I ever have before. God is in this.

We married on September 1, 2007. I turned 36 in October of that year and discovered we were pregnant in December of 2007. As you know, you were born August 16, 2008. That was two weeks before our first anniversary.

You are the most precious of gifts ever given to us, and within the first year of our marriage.

Two and a half months after your birth, I turned 37. I am nearly 37 years older than you, Psalmie.

Trust me when I say that I believe that everything that has happened in my life has been a GOD THING. I can look back over my life--as fast as it's gone!--and see His hand upon my entire life course. I trust Him wholly with my life, and with yours.

But I feel as if I need to tell you...to admit to you my deepest concern...that I am nearly four decades older than you are, and if you need me as much as I need my Mom right now, I just pray that I can leave behind as many words of wisdom as I can so that you will have some part of me, some part of my words, and know that I am with you, always, in spirit.

I will stay on this earth as long as God allows me to. But when it is my time to move on, when I have accomplished what I was called to accomplish here, He will call me home to be with him. The Bible assures me that I will not leave this earth one second before He allows it. So, please, darling, whatever happens to me--you need to know that God has a time allotted for all of us on this earth, and when our time is up, our time is up.

Trust Him, Sissy. Don't be angry or frustrated. Your presence on this planet is not by accident. He allowed your father and I to meet at precisely the appointed time. And He allowed you to be born to us. There is a Great and Magnificent plan for your life, I am sure of it.

That's why we named you Elizabeth Psalm. You are named after John the Baptist's mother (who was given the gift of parenthood later in her life) and my favorite book of the Bible (I hope you can discover on your own its value).

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As I am typing this, you are running around the house with a handful of toys. Your father and sisters are watching a movie in the Man Cave. When you saw me here at the computer, crying over this writing, you hugged me and said, "Mommy, don't be sad." And then you made a HUGE grin with your face and said, "Be happy, Mommy!"

I am very happy, Psalm. So very happy.

I love you, darling girl. Always.