What a Year, Darling!

Good morning, darling!

It's been a long while since I've gotten on your blog and written--but today I wanted to hit some high points of this year...just so we can have something to look back on in the future and reflect and remember....

Oh, darling, how I love you!

You quite literally take my breath away!

These days, you are growing so quickly! I look at you some mornings and realize that you really are, quite, taller. It's crazy to think how all of a sudden it seems that you are GROWN--or will be!

You are beautiful.

Let's see, this year has been a whirlwind, and I won't detail everything, but I will say that there are some things we want to remember--

KIDS CAMP--...was interesting (may be your last due to the "bugs" that you had to deal with, and the crazy behavior of the kids around you!) But here, too, you started noticing that you really didn't fit in with the kids this age. You told me that you were looking forward to Youth Camp so you could hang out with older kids...Yes. You've always been more comfortable with more mature acting people--whether they be your age or mine. :) We just received the handout for the PBJ camp. But you aren't sure whether you are going or not, because you don't really have anyone going that you relate to. It's interesting to watch you grow and negotiate socially. You make decisions to be true to yourself (even if that means being alone) rather than trying to act like someone you're not to fit in with other kids. I know it's hard--you told me so.

"I like being around my friends, Momma," you told me a few weeks ago. "But I can be on my own if I have to be." That spoke volumes to me, sister. Just volumes.

I am so proud of the young woman you are growing up to be.

Lest we forget, and remember only the "bug situation" and other nonsensical occurrences at camp, we MUST REMEMBER THIS. Sissy, when you came home from Kids Camp, one of the first things you told me what what the Lord had said to you one night during altar time. "Momma, I'm called to missions." You knew it.

And the Lord continues to speak to you--and all of us. It's in your spiritual DNA, sissy, to tend to people and care for them and serve them with your life. I praise God for the Call He has on our family--and the one He has most graciously extended to you.

I KNOW HE HAS GREAT THINGS IN STORE FOR YOU, SISSY. I know it with all of my heart.

VOICE LESSONS--You are THRIVING in your voice lessons, and I get to listen to your sessions (you haven't told me to leave yet! ha!), and it blows me away, the beautiful quality of your voice. I know that our Lord opened the door for you to study under Ms. Natlynn. I know He has big things in store for you, sissy. BIG THINGS.

YOU CHANGED SCHOOLS--Oh, what a journey that was! We both cried when we realized, this past summer, that changes were coming...there were so many unanswered questions...but you are, and we know this, precisely where God called you to be. Ms. Sherry, our children's pastor said she noticed an immediate difference. You really like it there. And I couldn't be happier.

THE REVIVAL PROPHECY--This summer, in a revival conference at church, the evangelist called you over to speak over you. It was INCREDIBLE, and I don't remember all of it--though I'm sure there are notes somewhere, and a video too, if you are ever interested in seeing it live--but one thing I remember is what he said over you--that you are a Miriam. That you will impact generations.

Oh, sissy, I have no doubt.

Well, I must stop here...but know that this Momma loves you with all of her heart, FOR EVER, and I am praying for you, your children, and your children's children. I may never see their faces this side of Heaven, but I will see you all when it is time, over there!

I love you so much, precious daughter.

Love Always,
Mommy

Little Darling Ten-ager

Little darling ten-ager,
You are not so "little" anymore.
As you near age ten,
You remind me that the "double digits"
Are close upon us.

Little darling ten-ager,
It is bitter-sweet to see you grow--
You need me less and less these days;
So when you ask for hugs,
I linger just a second or two too long.

Little darling ten-ager,
I'm thrilled to hear you reason,
See you process information on your own;
I love to see your heart and hands extended
As you reach out to others with God's love.

Little darling ten-ager,
I know such is the way of Life,
That you are coming into your own;
But I want you to know that your Momma
Loves you, forever, with all that she is.




I love you, Psalmie.
Love, Mommy

To My Not-So-Little Darling, Ever-Changing

This, to you, my not-so-little darling;
My poetically framed love letter
To an ever-changing young woman in the making.

Oh, my, how quickly time is flying by...
Sometimes I cannot believe how you have grown,
Are growing--right in front of my eyes.

You are beautiful, you.
Darling Girl, with perfect smile
And laugh and spirit. I adore you.

There are moments that I stare at you--
For as long as I dare without your noticing--
And I realize, even as I do, that you have changed again.

Again?! Oh, Time, please slow for me!
Just even a moment here and there,
So I can breathe and pray and give thanks--

For these moments, so swiftly they race by--
I cannot hold onto one! (Though I'll die trying.)
You are precious to me, dear one. I love you with ALL of me.

Looking 13...Already...

You are looking so GROWN UP lately, I've noticed. And it's both delightful and frightening to me, your adoring mother.

I love seeing your style develop--you love wearing your hair straight, lip gloss, your cute red pants and long sleeved shirt. This and your sparkly black UGG boots you were wearing as you left the house for school today.

You're everything I'd ever hoped for in a daughter. You're sweet and smart and sassy and you love Jesus with all of your heart.

You remind me of me and your daddy in ways, and, with your love for fashion and hair, I see you emulating your big sisters. But though you are, in some ways, like all of us, you are uniquely your own.

Already I can see the Lord working in you. I can see His hand upon you, His presence is already with you.

I guess what I wanted most to say this morning is that I adore you, love you, darling. I'm so very proud of you and who you are becoming.

And I'm so thankful to God for giving me YOU.

Mommy loves you, darling, always and forever,

Me.

Your First Tears

I'm taking a break from grading English Composition II term papers to record what I've just witnessed...

We are at school.  You've been coming to classes with me while I teach, since your sisters aren't at home for weeks at a time this summer.  You sit in the back of the class, on a computer, with your headphones on, watching Disney films, primarily.

You came up to me, just now, while I was grading, with tears falling down your cheeks.  I had no idea what was going on or what had happened.  I hadn't heard you fall or anything...

"What's wrong, baby?  Are you okay?" I questioned, ascertaining immediately that something was wrong--you were crying, after all.

"I'm watching this VeggieTales show," you began.  "There's a child from Africa, and she doesn't have anything, and nothing to eat!"  Your big brown eyes were full of tears.  You wiped them as you talked to me.

And it dawned on me at once:  "Oh my.  You're no longer crying over boo-boos.  You're now crying over emotional content."

Oh my, indeed.

I've never seen you cry because of a show's content.  I've seen you laugh--you love humor and understand it!--many, many times.  In fact, one of your favorite shows to watch is Full House, a comedy.

But this is the first time I've watched you cry over a show.

And I am reminded of how quickly you are growing now, right before my eyes, and daily!

I so love you, sissy.  With all of my heart!

Mommy

In Three Short Weeks

In just three short weeks, you will be promoted to the third grade.

THE THIRD GRADE!

You are growing ever so fast, darling one, in every way. Mentally, physically, spiritually, I watch my little girl grow and develop. I see your personality emerging, stronger than ever.

You are brilliant. You watch everything, everybody. You notice things others overlook. You are, like me, a lover of Nature. "Momma, look at those clouds!" I love that about you.

You are so compassionate. You love people, without fear. You hug first, and think (about what harm they have done you) later. To those in your class who have been "not so nice" this year, you love on them, no matter what, give them gifts, without any hesitation. You still ask to have them over at the house.

I pray every day I can be more like you...

You love to read and be dramatic. You do not hesitate to randomly sing songs from movies or the radio. You have watched Fiddler on the Roof more times than I can even count. You know the lyrics to the songs, and have told me you would audition should Pa Bill direct it one day.

You've taken a great liking to your sister's karaoke machine. I love watching you perform. I feel privileged to count myself among your first audience. Yes, I'm most definitely the President of the Psalm Yandell Fan Club!

You repeatedly claim to be shy (though I keep reminding you that you have danced in recitals, with up to 600 people in the audience, since you were three years old!). But I think you're coming out of that. You told me this past weekend that you WILL be performing in next year's Fun Arts competition.

You make me laugh. You're naturally funny, and you LOVE to tell jokes--especially those that have to do with word meaning. You love the language (and I love that you love the language!). "Get it, Momma?" you'll ask after telling a joke. "That's a homophone."

Ha! I love you, kid!

You make me proud. You know it? Your Momma is so proud of you.

I love you for ever and a day, Psalmie.

Love, Mommy.

Today, You Prayed for Pop Pop

Pop Pop had a mild stroke this morning.

He was released to go home, 

So you and I went to visit he and Gran.

While we were there, you and I

Joined hands with them both and prayed.

We prayed for healing and peace.

You put your hand on Pop's forehead

And prayed for him specifically.

It was powerful, sis.  Just powerful.

About a week ago, someone prophesied

Over you--that you would be a prayer warrior.

Today, I saw the prophecy unfolding before my eyes.

(I just wanted you to know.)

A Random Memory from this Year

You, picking out your second pair of glasses.  

They looked just like my own.  Except yours are purple.

I said, "Psalmie, are you SURE these are the glasses you want?"

Thinking you might not like them when you realize they don't match everything--and/or that they are practically mirror-images of mine.

"Yes!  I want these!  They're just like yours, Momma!"

When you said that, I can only describe my response as "elation."  Something happened inside of me then.  You said you WANTED them because they looked like mine.  I looked at you, then.  You weren't saying that to "please me."  You were saying that factually, as if you wanted to be like me.  

I know this doesn't last forever, that one day soon you will be adamant about finding your own style, your own way, but I just want to "drink it in," as they say, and remember that always--when you wanted to be like me, sport glasses just like mine.

I so love you, kid.  (You cannot imagine how much.)

For the record, your glasses are so YOU.  Everyone comments about them.  While you do look like a "mini me" in style, these glasses are so you, too.  They illuminate and feature your face in such an incredible way.  You stand out in a crowd.  Your big brown eyes are highlighted behind these lenses.

You are amazing to watch.  I am thankful to be here to witness you. 

Love Love Love Love Love Love Love (x infinity),

Mommy

To My Sassy Darling

Ahhhh....you.

You are seven now, a sassy darling. 

So smart and talented, so incredibly funny.

I love everything about you.

Of course I do.

Ahhhh...you.

Make me love until it hurts,

I hug you so tightly you complain,

"Momma, that's too much!"

You are my everything.

Ahhhh...you.

Growing up before my eyes,

No more gradual changes,

It seems to be happening

A l l  a t  o n c e .

Ahhhh...you.

If I could slow time, I sometimes think,

I would...(or would I?) 

I am utterly grateful for each moment,

I don't want to miss a thing.

Ahhhh...you.

I think back over this past year:

You at Disneyworld.  Us in Hogwarts.

You in starting second grade,

Starring in your first play.

Ahhh...you.

I love you so.

I am so Thankful for YOU

Psalmie,

I just wanted you to know how very thankful to GOD I am for you.

You are a bright light in my life and in this world.

You are well into your 6th year--and you remind me nearly every day that you're "not seven yet," but you are looking so very forward to being that old--SEVEN!  It's funny to me how "age conscious" you are.  I suppose it's due to all the kids at school comparing ages--it must matter very much, I'm guessing, who is the oldest and who is not.  I wonder if they make you feel somehow more "immature" because you are very nearly the youngest in your class.

I was almost always the youngest in my class, too.  And while it did get frustrating, at times, that I was always "late" in experiencing every major milestone of childhood, I look back now and wonder why or how I ever allowed it to bother me.  But I suppose we do, to some degree, no matter who we are.

You make a beautiful six-year-old.  You're the kind of six-year-old they base book series on:  you are funny and sassy and smart and act as if you're 16 much of the time you're talking.

A few weeks ago, there was a "Show and Tell" at church, and you didn't want to take any of the toys that you own and normally play with because you were concerned that they were "for babies."  (It was apparent to me that the older kids in your class are probably making note of everything they think "is for kiddies" or whatever they want to call it these days.)  When I heard you say that, it hurt my heart, because I know that you are already having to deal with the pressure of "what everyone else has to say"--and it's not coming from adults--it's from kids your own age.

I hate that kids are trying to pressure you to grow up so fast.  What they don't know is that THIS is the time to be having the time of your life!  THIS?  This childhood?  It only happens once, and then it's over and the world of adult responsibility moves in, and nothing is the same, ever, again.  I wish I could just TELL you that.  Help you know that it's "okay" NOT to grow up so fast, to have fun, be imaginative, for as long as possible.  Be happy where you are!

I hope you're having a great childhood.  I pray that you are.  

Today, we drove to Ft.Smith to get birthday gifts.  Every now and then, as you do, you would turn to me and say, "I love you, Mom."  (Recently, you asked me if it was "okay" if you called me "Mom" instead of "Momma" or "Mommy.")  I looked at you, for as long as I could afford (I was driving!) and said, with all my heart, though I'm not sure you knew it at the time:  "I love you, too, Psalmie."

And I do.

Psalmie, I love you with all of my heart.  You are such a blessing to me, such a miracle from God.  I love you more than you could EVER know...the word "love" just isn't enough, it seems, in quantifying my feelings for you, sis.  

Blessings to you, my darling girl,

Love forever & ever,

Mommy

Your First Audition

Something MAJOR happened this week that I wanted to record here for you:  you auditioned for your first play!  

I am so proud of you!

I had heard there were going to be auditions for the children's musical, "Junie B. Jones."  The community theatre here in Poteau is producing it.

When I asked you if you were interested in auditioning, you were very enthusiastic!

I explained the auditioning process--that it might be difficult to actually get the part, but you were not swayed:  you wanted to audition, come what may!

The evening of the audition, we went to the Poteau High School choir room.  You were dressed in this cute but comfortable outfit that was, I thought, "so you" when I went to Walmart to find you something new to wear.

I had looked at outfits that really weren't you--some of the clothes were animal print and "racy" for your age (not you); several were "church dresses" (fine for Sundays, but not your style throughout the week); some were too "branded"(you love Minnie and Frozen, but I wasn't sure that was the vibe you wanted to send).  As I looked through the racks and shelves of clothes, I found that I was faced with a serious decision:  Do I dress you up to be someone you're not?  Or do I find something that is YOU?

There were so many things to choose from that I just stopped and prayed.

That was when I found a really cute shirt (with the Minions on it!) and a pair of jeans.  The shirt was PERFECT.  It had all of the Minions on it, but they were all making faces, "acting faces," and the shirt colors were among your favorites:  purple and gray.  It was three-quarters sleeve, a baseball style shirt, and it looked just like you:  cute, laid back, and sassy.

Everyting started coming together--I found socks and shoes rather easily--and I made it home to change you just in time to get to auditions.

We signed the list and filled out a questionairre and then sat in the floor of a hallway for about an hour awaiting your turn to audition.

There were some things I had to talk to you about:  They weren't going to allow me to come in to the audition to watch--or help--with your first audition.  So I wanted to make sure that you understood that you needed to smile and speak (and speak loudly and clearly/articulately when you did) when they asked.  I also let you know about the auditioning process:  I knew they were going to ask you to sing and read.

No matter what I said, you were nonplussed.  You just looked at me in the way that you do and said, "Okay, mom." You were so calm the entire time we waited, actually.

I was the one battling nerves, but not you.

And when it was time for you to go audition, you just got up and went on in there like you'd been doing this all your life.

There you were, six years old.  You often say to me, "I'm six years old, and I know what I'm doing." You sure seemed to know exactly what you were doing that night!

I waited a long twenty minutes or so in the hallway--they wouldn't let parents peer in through the door or stand too close to it--just praying that you were okay, comfortable, appreciated, welcomed.

And then, after a long wait, here you came--out the door with a big smile on your face!  

(I was so relieved!)

Two of the older girls that helped with the auditions found me and told me how cute you were!  I thought, "Well, that's a good sign!"

And then, on the way home, I asked you what had happened, and you told me that you had sang (in front of total strangers!) your ABCs to P and read for two parts!  You said things like, "I read for the part of Ms. Whatshername (though you knew her actual name).  And you told me:

 "The big kids helped me with words I didn't know."  (You'd gone in with four other kids who were much older than you--sixth-eighth grade!)

"How many words didn't you know?" I asked.

"Three," you said, confidently. 

I couldn't believe it. You sounded like a pro, like you'd done this a million times!

At the end of your audition, the director had come outside and looked the four parents who remained in the hallway in the eyes and said, "Parents, we had so many children come and audition.  This is going to be a very difficult cast to choose.  We had lots of talented new faces...."  I already knew what she was saying.  The Junie B. Jones books are so successful, tons of kids came out to be a part of the production!  When I looked at the sign up sheet when we got there, I estimated there to be about 50 kids auditioning.

We waited with everyone else the three long days for the cast list to be posted.

You weren't on it.

You told me that morning when I talked to you, when I tried to explain that you weren't going to be in the show but we would go watch it,  "I'm okay, Mom."  

You're so grown up already.

Your words made me feel much better about the entire thing.  I had wanted you to be in that show so badly--I thought it would be a great First Show with which to get involved, but it just wasn't God's Will for now, was it?

-----------------------------------

Days before the audition, you and I had been discussing this new opportunity and the auditioning process.  You were so excited.  I tried to give you some idea of what it meant to be in a show.  But I kept explaining that, "Even if you don't get a part, we will still go see it, okay?"  

And that's when we held hands and prayed.  We prayed for God's Will, not ours, in this situation.  We prayed for favor (which you received) and the Right Thing to happen.

And it did.

One of the things I wanted you to know, Psalm:  We trust God in EVERYthing.  In EVERY part (no pun intended, it just worked out that way) of our lives, we give it to Him.  He knows what's best.  We can TRUST HIM.

I love you, kid.  

You bless my heart every day.  

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Post Script:

I am reminded about the passage in the Bible that says that all of the stories of Jesus are not recorded in the Bible--if they were, they would fill a huge book!  That's how I feel about this blog, sissy.  I wish I could sit down and record all of the wonderful stories about your life, every day! You are wonderful every single day.  You bless me every moment of every day.  I love you so much, my darling girl.  So, so much!  

The Favor of God on Your Life

Dear Psalmie,

Sister, you need to know that the Favor of God is upon your life.  I've seen it innumerable times in the past couple of years, and in the past couple of weeks, specifically, and I wanted to record some ot these things here so you will never forget them.

When I'm talking about the Favor of God on your life, I'm talking about a "favor" He has given you with people, and in life in general.  God has His hand on your life--it's obvious, sis--and it's important to me that you understand that GOD is the one who has given you that favor.

I suppose, for me, when I saw it the most--and most shockingly, perhaps--was the summer of 2013, the one we spent in Florence, Italy.   It was incredible to me to watch His hand upon you.  People were drawn to you in unusual ways.  In Italy, an elderly woman got up to give you her seat on the public tram (she was ELDERLY, and you were not yet 5 years old!); a street vendor GAVE you a toy, free of charge; the nuns who worked in their store next to the Duomo (we frequented the store during our stay in Florence) WROTE YOUR NAME DOWN before we left so they could pray for you.  They also gave you an incredible FREE gift, a pendant of Mother Mary, the Miracle Mary pendant that Mother Teresa famously gave out to people.  Sis, they loved you everywhere we went.

This year, too, I see the favor of God on your life.  At Camp Bravo, out of several other students, you were chosen as the outstanding member of your group. (And you MISSED the first day of camp because you were sick with an ear infection and I had to take you to the doctor!).   At our PFA VBS, you were chosen for a game one night, the outstanding student of the group the next night, and you WON one the scooter for your group in a drawing.  (You only had your name entered once--because you brought your cousin Whittany with you to the VBS.  Sis, you only had ONE SLIP and it was the one drawn.)

These are just a few of the things on my mind to tell you.  But I wanted to tell you:  if you follow The Lord and His precepts, to the very best of your ability, His favor will continue to rest upon you.  I pray, always, that it will rest upon you for the duration of this life and in the one to come (when we meet Jesus). 

One word of caution, if I may:  Don't take His favor for granted.  THANK HIM every day for it.  Thank Him for EVERYTHING:  provision, protection, blessings, favor.  HE IS THE SOURCE, SIS.  Hang on to His hand all the days of your life.  He will BLESS YOUR LIFE, I can promise you that.  And I can say that because I've seen it from the beginning:  He is all over your life.  He has set you apart, and that means that He calls you His own.  He has plans for your life, sis, and the Bible says they are GOOD! (Jeremiah 29:11).

I love you, and I love that you love Jesus.  Never let go of His heart.

Love, Mommy

P.S.  Having the Favor of God on your life does not mean you will be perfect, or make all of the right decisions.  Just, please, if you mess up, DON'T GIVE UP.  Just do what the Bible tells us to do in I John 1:9:  "If we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  This verse tells us that we must always keep the lines of communication open with Jesus.  We must talk to Him, even about what we have done wrong.  Don't hide things or keep secrets.  (He knows what we've done, anyway.)  Just talk to Him. Tell Him you messed up, and exactly what that sin/"mess up" was.  If we "repent"/confess, the Bible tells us He WILL forgive us.  No matter what it is that we've done, if we're sincere and serious about our regret, He will hear us and forgive us. AND cleanse us--meaning, He makes it right again.  Sis, it's important not to just flippantly say, "I'm sorry," but to get before The Lord and truly apologize for our wrong-doing.  (And our intent, when we apologize is to NEVER mess up again!)  When our hearts are right before The Lord, repentance is something we WILLINGLY do, we want to do, because we want to be in right standing with The Lord. And, sissy, there is NOTHING like being in right standing with The Lord.  You can hear Him and feel Him and know Him soooooooo strongly, sooooooooo tangibly.  I wish everyone knew the relationship they could have with our Lord.   That's why we must tell them.  

I love you. 

Your Kindergarten Graduation

Dear Psalm,

You graduated last night, from Kindergarten. And I held it together, I did.

You'd asked me, the day before, "Momma, are you gonna cry at my graduation?" (I had told you I'd try not to, but I couldn't make any promises.)

I didn't cry. At least outwardly.

At one point, watching the video that your teacher had put together, I thought I was going to "lose it," I felt the tears welling up...

And then I had the good sense to turn and look at you.

There you were, in the back row, laughing and talking to your friends, with a huge grin plastered on your face. You weren't concerned in the least about what was going on, about the Mammoth Moment I thought this was. No, you were happy, so happy, that I felt the tears receding. I suddenly didn't feel the need to indulge in my selfish moment of nostalgia.

Because this was Your Moment--and you were obviously HAPPY in this moment.

Smiling to myself, I held the camera up and tried again to get a picture of you smiling, laughing, smiling.

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I love you so, darling. Thank you for being a constant source of inspiration to me.

I'm proud of you--so very proud of you.

Love, Mommy

I Love You, Sis

I just wanted to tell you that I love you so very much, Sissy.  Right now, you're lying by my side, your dolly next to you, snoring softly.  

You are five and a half years old now, and I know that you won't want or need to be by my side like this for much longer, but I just have to say that I cherish these moments with you.

I love you, Psalmie.  Always and Forever.

Love, 

Mommy

"I Told My Friends at School That Jesus Lives in My Heart"

A little over a week ago, we were driving back from an evening dinner at Red Lobster. Seemingly out of nowhere, you started telling your daddy and me about a theological discussion you had had on the playground at school.

"I told my friends at school that Jesus lives in my heart," you said.

"You did? That's awesome, sis!" I said, truthfully taken aback by the declaration.

"Yes. But Kylie said that Jesus is everywhere."

"Yes, Jesus is everywhere," I said, trying to agree with you.

But this isn't what you wanted to hear. You got mildly irate, then, and started adamantly telling me: "Kylie said Jesus is everywhere but I told her that, no, Jesus lives in our hearts!"

I could tell you were upset about this conversation you had had with Kylie and I breathed a prayer that The Lord would direct me in what to say to you.

"Psalmie, Jesus IS everywhere, but we have to invite him to live in our hearts."

"Oh," you said. "Well, Zane said he doesn't believe in Jesus."

"He doesn't?!" I felt my heart drop. I couldn't believe there was a child in kindergarten, in your class, who didn't know that Jesus was REAL.

"Oh, sissy," I said. "You and Kylie need to tell Zane about Jesus."

"We will, Momma," you said. "We will tell him tomorrow."

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Psalmie, I don't know when you will read this blog, if ever, with adult eyes, but I wanted to talk to you about some important truths related to this real-life conversation between us.

1. Grown ups argue about doctrines like you and Kylie did about where Jesus lived. Both you and Kylie were right, you just didn't know it. As you grow older, you will realize that Christians argue about all sorts of things like this--and, sis, while we're arguing, there are people, like Zane, who need to know Jesus. Don't get caught up in the doctrinal arguments, sis. Not much, if anything, is ever accomplished by them. Focus on Christ and letting your light shine.

2. Grown ups also try to complicate "Spreading the Gospel of Christ"--but, sis, I hope you never lose the approach you have now. You just simply say what matters--that Jesus lives in our hearts (if we ask him to)--without having to memorize awkward pre-written statements or verses. Witnessing to others, letting your light shine? It's all about keeping it real, keeping it simple. Don't let people convince you otherwise.

P.S. I guess you DID talk to Zane the next day. When I picked you up from school, you told me that Zane said Jesus lived in California. After you told me that, I said, "Well, that's a start!"

Watching FROZEN with you

Right now, we are lying side by side in my bed with our iPads. You are singing along with Anna and Elsa, and I am enjoying every second of this time with you. I just HAD to record this, write it down, so I could remember this, so you could remember this, one day.

You have your stuffed dolly, Doc McStuffins, cradled in your right arm, and you're frustrated because you can't get the subtitles to come on so you can read along with the dialogue and songs.

I love hearing you sing all of the songs on this soundtrack. You learned them so quickly! I love how you sing them loudly and with feeling. I think one of my favorites you sing is, "Do You Want to Build a Snowman" and "Let It Go." When you sing them, you sing them as loud as you can and with feeling. I love it, sissy.

Tonight has been one of those nights when I can't help but notice how grown up you are, how quickly time is passing by, how much I wish I could just "Pause" times like these...

I love you, Psalmie. We've been so busy lately that I haven't had time to write to you on your blog. But I want you to know that your mommy loves you, Psalmie. With all of her heart. Always and forever.

Love you, darling girl,
Mommy

You Read a Book to Me This Morning

There you were, this morning, reading.

You came holding a little paper book they had printed at school. "Momma," you said, "You need to sign this!" And I know by now that what that means is that I'm to review something and verify that I have reviewed it, seen it. When I saw the book in your hands, I knew you were to read it to me.

"Okay," I said. "Go ahead and read it to me and then I'll sign it!"

You read the title page and opened the little paper book with care. And then you started reading.

When did you learn how to read?!? Since when are kindergartners reading books in their first half of their year?!? Was I reading this soon?!?!

You read with confidence. You knew the words. You followed each one with your finger.

I think it was about a child going to the library. But I really couldn't focus because I was too busy watching you read.

I couldn't help but stare at your continually morphing profile. You there, with your glasses, downwardly gazing onto the page. I watched your nose, as it held your beautiful little glasses, how it bobbed ever so slightly as your mouth opened and closed. And then your mouth...

Since when did you start forming words like this on your own? You are reading lines, not haltingly, as if you are just learning words, but, rather, like you've known them all along.

When did this happen?!? When did you get so grown up?

And then you were finished and you looked up at me with your expectant look--and you could see Mommy was proud of you. I saw the corners of your mouth pull into a wide smile when I applauded you and told you over and over what a smart girl you are.

And you are, Psalm. You are, already, such a smart girl.

I am amazed by you, but I often don't get any length of time to enjoy that amazement I have of you...because you are continually doing fabulous, wondrous new things.

When you saw my pleasure at your reading performance, you said quickly, "Mommy, get a pen so you can sign it!"

And when I did, you had to hold it proudly, all the way to school, so you could deliver it, as you were asked, to your teacher.

You are a darling little girl. Not so little, anymore, I'm afraid. I just want you to know, Psalmie, that I am so very proud of you. SO. VERY. PROUD. OF. YOU.

I love you, darling girl, always and forever,

Mommy

I Love Your New Look!

Dear Sissy,

I love your new look!

Last week, we picked up your first pair of glasses--and you've been wearing those adorable Hello Kitty frames every day since!

You look adorable, and I love watching you in them!

Daddy said that you remarked, on your first morning headed to school with them on, about how you could see the trees and clouds so much better!

I'm so glad you can SEE!

Thankfully, the school did an eye screening and determined that you were in need of glasses. Daddy and I had no idea you needed them and were slightly shocked when they sent home a paper suggesting we get your eyes tested by an optometrist. When we saw the optometrist, it didn't take long for him to confirm your need for glasses.

I have heard stories from parents saying that they didn't realize their child had massive vision problems until they were in junior high or high school. Can you imagine not being able to see the details of the land and sky? Can you imagine years of missing that?

I'm so glad we did this NOW! I'm so glad that you didn't go for years, unable to see. I'm so glad that you were given a test, and that people cared enough to tell us that you couldn't see!

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Spiritually, sissy, it is my prayer for you this morning that you do not wait years to "SEE" your need for our Lord Jesus Christ. It is my sincere hope that you will realize your need for Him early, as early as possible, and be able to live more of your life SEEING the details, what is truly important, living life to the FULLEST!

He has so much to show you! There is so much to SEE!

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I love you, darling. And I am so proud of you.

Always,
Mommy

BLESSINGS ARE FROM GOD

Sis,

The earlier in life you can learn this--that blessings come from God--the earlier you will begin to live and BASK in the blessings of God.

One thing we learn from reading the Ten Commandments? That God wants (and deserves!) our praise! He does not take kindly to being placed anywhere other than first priority in our lives. And He does not appreciate it when we take credit for what He's done, or when we give others credit for what He's done.

I'm not saying don't thank people for what they give you, assist you with, etc. But what I'm saying is that in your thanks, don't forget--ever--to publicly proclaim that you thank GOD that someone Blessed you, and that you feel God's blessings on your life!

I can truly tell you this from experience: when you praise Him every chance you get, you'll find that He gives you more reasons to praise Him! I am serious, sister! Make it a POLICY to always thank God for EVERYTHING.

Yes, thank Him for your food. Stop and say a prayer, a heart-felt prayer, even if it IS memorized, even if ppl look at you "funny" for it, even if no one else gives thanks. YOU stop, pause, put your head down, close your eyes and breathe a word of thanks to the ONE that makes your life possible.

You hear me?!

Give Him honor in your life. YOU WON'T REGRET IT!!! Mommy is telling you from experience: when you praise Him, WATCH the blessings pour in. When you make right decisions, give of your time and energy to Him, SOW into His church or ppl in the community, WATCH Him pour into your life.

The Bible says that we will reap what we sow--and that is SO TRUE!!! But it's not like a formal "Law of Gravity" or something. It's because HE IS WATCHING US. He DOES see what we do. He IS an active part of our lives, this world. Don't be deceived by philosophies. I don't care what they say. Sister: you've got to believe me. THIS IS FOR REAL. GOD IS THERE. HE SEES YOU. HE SEES ME TYPING THIS. HE TRULY CARES ABOUT US.

It is my hope that this letter is just an affirmation of a life you are already reading. But if, for some reason, in the future, my daughter reads this and she is uncertain, I beg you, Psalmie, to believe!!! And I dare you to TRUST HIM, and TRY HIM, and watch as He provides MIRACULOUSLY in your life.

Sis, I'm convinced that the greatest deception in the entire universe is the lie that the enemy has spread about Jehovah. He is NOT what the haters make Him out to be. Sis, He is WONDERFUL, COUNSELOR, PRINCE OF PEACE. LISTEN TO THAT, WOULD YOU?!?! AND TELL OTHERS!!!! This is the most important message of all--pray that people's eyes will be opened, that God will reveal Himself to them--and that they will receive what He has done for them, on their behalf and begin to start walking in that--walking in the blessings for the rest of their lives!!!

No matter what comes, no matter what happens, SIS, I BEG YOU TO LIVE BY HIS WORD and then SHARE IT with whomever He sends your way and into your path!!! This is too important!!!

I have so many regrets! I wish it wouldn't have taken me so long to UNDERSTAND how UTTERLY AMAZING our God is. I'm telling you this in the hopes that you will read this and know that passion with which this was written, suspect the CONVICTION with which this was written. AND SEE TO IT THAT YOU INVESTIGATE IT further.

And, sis, it's not enough to stay at a level where you just believe with your mind and heart. That's great. BUT THERE'S MORE!!! There's this level that is available to us, where we can LIVE IN HIM daily, see HIM at work in our lives, like, UTTERLY.

I love you with all of my heart. And it is my utmost desire that you know our Savior as I have come to know Him--and even more deeply than I have, more personally than I have. I hope that you don't wait as long as I did to submit your life to Him and WATCH HIM WORK WONDERS!!! Because that's exactly what He will do.

Remember, God looks not at our ages, but upon our heart. THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL--whether or not our heart is pure before God.

I love you, sis. Right now, I hear you playing with your toys as you take your evening bath. You're singing, making up stories, and I LOVE IT. You amaze me. In every way. I am so very proud of you--and will always be proud of you and love you. No matter what.

I love you, I love you, I love you, darling girl,
Mommy

(That love is a force to be reckoned with--my love for you will transcend my presence on this earth. Capito? Rest in that.)

"Just Buy What You Need When You Get There"

Dear Psalm:

In two days, we leave for your first international missions trip, and I am so excited to be able to go with you and Daddy on this trip!

We have saved and saved and trusted God for an entire year about where to go, and it seems He has directed our path to Florence, Italy.

We are going to Florence for 25 days, and it's incredible, really, what God has done, what He is doing!

I have been working to pack our things, doing my best to THINK and THINK about what all we might/will need for this trip, but I have this feeeeeling that I won't remember everything, you know?!

I said as much to someone a day or two ago.

"Just buy what you need when you get there..." they offered.

I just stared ahead, nodding politely.

The truth is that we don't have the money to just buy whatever we need when we get there. When I say that GOD has provided, He has! And "just enough."

One thing you should know about our Lord, or at least my own life experiences with Him, is that He often provides by giving us "just enough." I think He does this so we don't forget our Source--He is our Source--that we rely upon Him and don't get to thinking that somehow WE did this or that.

At the same time I say that God provides "just enough," it is true, too that He is the God of abundance, our God of abundance. And I want to explain that.

If you look at my salary and Daddy's salary, you would see that there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that we should be going on this trip in the first place. GOD provided the way. He literally made things come together so we could even THINK about going on a trip like this one.

He moved upon a couple in our church to give us the money to purchase all three of our plane tickets. Miracle.

He moved on the hearts of my mom and dad to give us $1000 for this trip. They don't have this kind of money to give, sis. It's a miracle.

He moved on a precious lady at our church to donate monies she earned by putting things into resale. She probably contributed $500, in sum, to this trip.

He moved on Muldrow Church of God to ask Daddy and I to speak there. There offerings from a 4-day revival helped to cover the additional apartment rental cost for Serai coming.

I'm telling you all of this to tell you this: You can TRUST GOD for every part of your life. We look with our fleshly eyes. We see what we see. He can make ANYTHING possible. Whenever you catch yourself saying or thinking, "I can't do that. It's impossible," then I beg you to close your eyes and say, "All things are possible with God." "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

And let me say this: YOU CAN DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING HE CALLS YOU TO. If HE called you, He will equip you and He will finance it. Take care of your finances; do the best YOU can do. Do your part: pay your tithes. And then wait for God to bring in "just enough" for the dreams He has put in your heart.

And then, watch, as HE brings them to pass.

I love you, Sissy,

Mommy